Wedding Rehearsal Dinner Results

[coachB]

I am back home now with the entire wedding thing over and done.  Thank God.  What started as "I am just doing the pulled pork, they can get everything else" fell by the wayside.  I ended up with:
      15lbs pulled pork butt--brined and injected (thanks Tony, came out fabulous) w/Famous Dave's Rich & Sassy, FD's Devil's Spit, and from the Sauce and Regional BBQ sections Piedpont, GA/SC Mustard, and NC Vinegar sauces
        9lbs pork loin--apricot chutney, mango chutney, and raspberry-chipotle  chutney (again, thanks Tony)
      10lbs turkey breast
        8lbs baked beans w/pulled pork  (Pioneer Woman's recipe)
        8lbs Neely's cole slaw (GREAT recipe)
        6lbs Potato Salad  (my mother's recipe)
        36 moinks (combo of RG and SuperDave's versions--Not dry this time)
        36 jalapeno poppers (with my own belly bacon) 
        2 trays of Famous Dave's cornbread w/melted honey butter (really, really good cornbread mix.
        24 white chocolate raspberry cheesecake cupcakes

Everything that  was supposed to be hot stayed hot through completion and 2 hr travel time.  It just surprisingly worked out fine.  Everything went over very well and I had several of the guys from Kansas City asking how I got the pork to be so moist.  They had a hard time with the fact an electric smoker was used (couple of pieces of lump charcoal gave a smoke ring).

The bride had rented a 6 BR beach house for the relatives.  His side from rural Kansas, hers from Serbia.  Strange mix.  The only mishap occurred when I was slicing the loin.  I was using the 10" Victorinox/Granton edge slicer (great recommendation from this forum) at a kitchen counter that is about 5' from the door.  I was really whipping through the loin when the door opened and I shaved a small piece of finger.  The reason--I glanced over and it was the maid of honor (who I had not met yet) returning from the beach. All 6'5" of her.  In the briefest bikini imaginable.  With single digit body fat content.  Super tanned.  A body the likes of which I have never seen on a live human being.  Seriously.  She is a professional BBall player in Europe and did a spread for Playboy's Serbian edition.  So when I looked up at this Amazon my knees buckled causing the slicer to jump causing the blood to flow.  Now I am bleeding and salivating at the same time (not from food aromas)  and her husband who was right behind her (a 6'9" pro in Europe) points out that I seem to have a problem with my hand.  "Hand, what hand?  Oh!  Uh...nice to meet you.  Would you like to step over here and have a taste of this fabulous pork I am getting ready to put out?  'Thank you anyway, but we are vegetarians'."  And I immediately think, fine, then get lost.  Vegetarians?  But not until after staring at that bikini from every possible angle.  I even tied my shoelaces and I was wearing flip-flops.  Made the 3 1/2 days of food prep and cooking worth it.

And that slicer is so good the it really just shaved off barely a layer of skin but I think it could have gone through bone and I wouldn't have felt it right away.

All's well that ends well.
     

 

[swthorpe]

Wow, what a feast!  Glad it all turned out well.  Sorry about your finger, but I am still laughing reading through your post...  ;D

 

[SuperDave]

Lets you know that you wouldn't want to do it for a living doesn't it.  Glad it was a big success. 

 

[coachB]

Dave, you're not kidding about that.  The wedding was held in downtown Charleston in a 18th century Governor's mansion that is part of the Historical Preservation Society.  The food there was pates, cheese trays, charcuterie meats.  The kind of presentation where every item was name-tagged with calligraphy.  Very nicely done.  The actual reception dinner was back at the beach house and was cooked in the open LR/KIT area.  You could actually see the chef work and it was amazing to see the organization.  He is the music teacher at the school my ex ran who used to cater on the side and still does on special occasion for friends.  Had 2 of his HS students as helpers and they were great kids.  The ex told me of his monthly dinners for small groups of friends and that he was a gourmet chef.  I have heard things like this before but this time it was true.  He would get everyone's attention and then explain what the course was that was being served and how it was made.  For each course.  It was the kind of meal that you moaned while you ate.  I couldn't pronounce most of the courses and sauces but OMG.  He grilled 30 filet mignons that were 1.5 lb each and to die for.  Perfect.  Every single filet.
The guy was fascinating.  Did Hollywood/TV music scores, one of the first four professional Elvis impersonators, full time gourmet business, teacher.  And he did this whole meal in front of 25-30 people in a regular kitchen while being pestered by me with all kinds of questions.
This was by far the finest meal I have ever experienced.  I am just thankful everybody got to eat mine before his.  It would have been an impossible act to follow,  but worked out fine as the preliminary.

 

[DivotMaker]

Great story, and great results (except the finger), Bill!!    Oh - if you followed my brine recipe, with the #1 Instacure (pink salt), that's what gave the "faux" smoke ring, not the charcoal.  I tried the charcoal trick numerous times, until I found out it doesn't do anything.  Nitrites in the pink salt cause the smoke ring.

 

[coachB]

Tony, you are absolutely correct about the #1 pink causing the "ring".  The charcoal lumps did add a little something to the flavor.  I should have been more specific in the detailing but I was probably still picturing that bikini.

 

[pargolfr2003]

Bill I'm glad you didn't do any permanent damage. Laughed my ass off at your story. Everybody always posts pics of their food which is great, but why the hell didn't you post a pic of the bikini?

 

[coachB]

I tried to get a picture but when I clicked the shutter the blood from the finger shorted out the camera.  It was either the blood or the drool.  It was a real shame because the view going away was just as good as the view coming at me.  It is, however, forever etched in various memory banks.  Or at least as long as age allows memory.  She wore a skin tight minidress at the wedding because she said she didn't realize the dress she bought was "see-through" until she put it on that AM.  One could only have hoped.